: Suddenly Single

Dressers are Just Hunks of Wood

Hello everyone:

How are you going to divide your personal property among your children? A woman I know lost her mother after a brief illness. The elderly woman had not told her daughters who she wanted to have her chest of drawers; it apparently had not occurred to her that all three of her girls wanted it.

One of the daughters removed the dresser from her mother’s home; the others have spent years trying to get it away from her. They refuse to speak to one another; they do not invite each other to family gatherings and they no longer talk on the phone.

The sisters are missing the rest of each other’s lives because none of them is willing to back down. It may have been important at one time, but it really is just a piece of wood, when it comes right down to it.

Would a compromise be possible, such as “you have the dresser one year and I will take it the next year”? Whoever survives the longest gets to keep the dresser. This is kind of like musical chairs, with the prize being the dresser.  

Speaking of wood, I once had a decorating customer who was upset about some wooden sconces. The finish wasn’t quite right, so she thought she would call me…on Christmas Day! Folks, again, this is just wood. Yes, I took care of her but, really, calling a independent consultant on Christmas???

Again, this is just some wood. The really important things in life aren’t things. They are people. I told one of my dear friends the other day that the most important people in my life are my family: my sons, their wives, my grandsons, and my siblings and their spouses and children. Of course, my father is still a very important part of my life, as well. Without our family and friends, we might as well pack it in, as they say.

You may have lost your spouse to death, disease, or divorce, and my heart goes out to you. But what (or, more vitally, who) is still in your life? Embrace them and love them. Be grateful for those who love and care for you. Thank God every day that they are a part of your life.

You know, we are going through transitions, you and I. Things can get pretty scary and lonely but we are going to make it!

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Coming Home with the Right Number of Balloons

Hello everyone:

I heard a great story Sunday morning. Our worship ministry assistant was telling us about how her hubby was supposed to bring home five balloons for their son’s 6-month birthday, but he only managed to make it home with one. Here’s how the story went:

The hubby was tasked with one thing for his son’s birthday party: go to the dollar store and get five helium-filled balloons. So he went off, confident in his ability to do the job.

When he got the balloons from the dollar store worker, however, the balloons were not tethered together and one immediately headed for the ceiling. The worker said something to the effect of “tough break, dude.” And the man walked away.

Hubby went on his way, minus one of the balloons, but with a good excuse. He walked outside, where the wind was blowing very hard and, you guessed it, he lost two more balloons.

He made his way to the car, struggling to keep his remaining balloons and then get them into the car. Wind vortexes being what they are, two more balloons evaded hubby’s grasp.

A few minutes later, he went into the house, with only one balloon in hand. His wife was quite annoyed with him, and really let him have it. It wasn’t until later that she realized that he might have had a very rough 20 minutes and asked him about it. He told the story as you have read it.

Here’s the point: You never know what someone else is going through. You don’t know what happened to their four other balloons, so don’t pre-judge someone. Listen to their story and then decide.

It happens with divorced folks all the time. People pre-judge without listening to their side of the story. There are always two sides but,. sometimes, the person who stays behind gets all the attention while the person who left is ignored and not listened to. Food for thought.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Chicken Stew Just For You

Hi everyone:

I am not known for my gourmet cooking abilities. But, and this is huge, I have a chicken stew recipe to share with you today.

Yes, this is not normally the place for recipes, but I just cooked for only the third time since I moved here nine months ago, so it seems worth the time needed to give you my tried-and-true-Sheri-Parmelee-original recipe. My kids loved it, so here it is:

Take one one-pound package of boneless, skinless chicken tenderloins. Cook them in a pot, chopping them into bite-sized pieces when they are cooked halfway through.

Finish cooking them while you chop up one Idaho potato. Once the chicken is completely cooked, pour two Heinz Homestyle Gravy jars (the 12 oz size) into the pot. Run a little water into the bottom of the jars (about a half inches per jar) and pour that into the pot, as well. Add two teaspoons of sage and two teaspoons of thyme. Stir it in thoroughly. Add the raw potato. Add in a half package of your favorite frozen vegetables. Cook until the potato and veggies are soft. This makes four servings. I freeze three of them.

This recipe can be easily expanded, based on how many people you have. I hope you enjoy this! Everyone I have ever served this to absolutely loves it and comes back for seconds.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Flat Tires are a Real Drag

Hello everyone:

Flat tires are a bother, an inconvenience, and especially troublesome on major holidays. I know. I had one this afternoon.

There I was, on my way to one of my favorite stomping grounds- Bed, Bath, and Beyond- for a little mid-afternoon entertainment (I am easily amused, I suppose), when I noticed my car tire inflation light was on and my car seemed to be running a bit more lumpty bumpty than usual.

Okay, the roads around this area have trouble with smoothness but this seemed out of the ordinary. It was.

Fortunately, my go-to IT guy had just left my house (He’s the son of a dear friend) and so I called and asked if he would take a look at my tire, which seemed only a bit mushy.

Folks, mushy is not a good thing and a little mushy turns into greatly mushy amazingly fast. Give the tire a few minutes and you have a tire that is mostly rim sitting on the ground. Trust me, I know.

My IT friend arrived at the scene of the newly-flat tire just in time to confirm that, yes, indeed, I had a flat tire. I couldn’t find my AAA card.

Happily, my friend was also a member and gave me the phone number. The man at AAA said it would be 65 minutes. Sixty-five minutes in the hot summer sun sounded very unappealing, but the Tire-Changer Man showed up in less than 30 minutes, was very pleasant, exchanged the recalcitrant tire with my brand new spare with great efficiency, and everyone was on his or her way in a matter of minutes.

It was a great experience in the middle of despair. So what do I recommend? Having a good friend is great, so that is the first advice. My final advice on this experience is this: If you don’t like changing tires, get AAA! They do not pay me to say this. I am offering this recommendation without any expectation of reimbursement for my endorsement.

Having someone show up to change my tire for me was worth the price of the yearly fee they charge to be a member. AAA is most definitely worth its weight in gold tires. Because flat tires, as you know, are a real drag.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

P.s. Yes, I gave the Tire-Changer Man a tip. It was a very hot day today.

Read more

All Things Work Together

Hello everyone:

I was thinking this morning that “all things work together for good,” but my treadmill was not participating in that, the last time I visited Florida (which was just this past weekend!).

It seems that the little fellow felt overworked a couple of months ago and he gave up the ghost at 9.5 miles out of what I had hoped would be a ten-mile run. Since the model was sold to my brother in 2002, it’s a good bet that it can’t be repaired.

Before I had the knowledge of its advanced age, though, I did try a few things. First, I checked the circuit breaker, to see if it had been tripped. The machine just stopped dead in my tracks, without any warning. Nope, the circuit breaker was fine.

Then I flipped the drop strip that I have my computer plugged in to. Nope, it was fine. I checked the wall outlet. Again, everything was hunky dory, peachy keen, no problemo.

Those are the steps I would take to try and figure out why something stopped, and I would do (and did do) before calling a repair person. When you have an appliance break down, these are steps you can take, but keep in mind that you need to make sure that you have rubber-soled shoes on your feet and that you aren’t standing in water as you try these quick-fix remedies.

Time for a true confession: One time, rather long ago, I decided to vacuum a wet carpet. Not my best move, as you might imagine. I was also barefoot. Again, not the wisest thing I have ever done. I felt this tingly feeling but still did not put two and two together in any meaningful way. And then it hit me. You might say, it hit me like a lightening bolt (or a shock from the outlet): the tingly feeling was my being shocked. Never a good thing and no, you will not stay young longer if you are electrocuted. You won’t stay around, period. The good news is that I wised up really, really fast.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Plumbing Leaks: Are They or Aren’t They? Only the Plumber Knows for Sure

Hello everyone:

A leak on the second floor will damage the ceiling on the first floor. You can’t pretend it isn’t there and hope it will go away.

If the leak is allowed to fester, you will have to replace the ceiling in whatever room is under the leak, so it is best to get it fixed right away. Before you automatically think you can’t fix it, google it and see if it is something you can handle.

There are several websites that tell you how to fix it in five easy steps, so see if you can find your type of faucet (if that’s what is leaking) online and give it a try. Otherwise, look for the list of plumbers your husband left behind (or go to your hardware store or to your real estate agent for a list of competent plumbers) and get the work done.

Please note: Sometimes the water leak is actually water from the bathtub that the kids have knocked out as they are bathing.

The metal ring that seems to serve no purpose that is halfway between the bathtub plug and the faucet can leak and make water go underneath the tub and through your floor, if you splash the water just right.

While this should not be your children’s goal, sometimes it does happen. The good news is that is does not necessarily mean you have a leak somewhere. It means you have rambunctious kids who have gotten somewhat sloppy with their bathwater.

Best wishes with your leak. I hope that it’s just overly-enthusiastic bathers and not a plumbing issue.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Medical Information and Other Fun Medical Issues

Hello everyone:

Some of the widowed gentlemen I see eating lunch and dinner at the local hospital and shopping mall seem completely disinterested in making new friends. They greet one another pleasantly but then they sit at different tables.

Their aged hearing makes conversations at that distance impossible. They eat their meals silently and alone. Another man I see at the hospital is about the same age as these other males, but he is different. He is at the hospital as a volunteer. He is engaged in this new time of life, and meets and greets everyone he sees. He steps lively and thoroughly enjoys his work. He has tried to get his peers interested in volunteering, but they seem prefer the solitary lives they now have. What type situation would you chose to emulate?

By the way, a couple of years have gone by since I witnessed this isolation in the midst of people. Only two of the men are left. One still comes in and sits alone, grumbling about the poor food (which he eats because it is cheap) and the other man is housebound. The other men died. The volunteer fellow is still alive and well, last I heard.

Medical History

You need to keep track of your personal medical history. Make up a list of your allergies to drugs, operations you have had (and when and where they took place), and what medicines in what dosage you are taking.

You need to keep this list current, so that if the paramedics are called to your house, you can give them the list so that you can be treated correctly. If you have any current medical conditions that the medical professionals taking care of you in an emergency need to know about, make sure those conditions are on the list, as well.

This is especially important if you live alone and you don’t have nearby relatives. Keep the list in your wallet or purse, so that it is readily available.

What ideas can you share on this train of thought?

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Peace, Be Still

Hello everyone:

Mark 4:39 says “And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” Do you ever feel like your world has collapsed into on great whirlwind? Perhaps you are going through a painful, bad divorce (though some would argue that there is no such thing as a nice, good divorce. Their point is well-taken).

Perhaps your ex-to-be has decided to get mean and nasty, giving you a hard time about everything. Maybe he or she has actually told your children that he or she plans on doing “something mean” to you. In the first place, Christians should not plan to do things like that to one another, assuming that the soon-to-be ex is saved. In the second place, the only people who get really rich off of a bad divorce are the attorneys involved.

Yet the purpose of this devotional is peace. How can that be? You really can have a sense of calm in the midst of these horrid happenings. Here’s how: trust in the Lord and hire a good attorney. Let go of some of the things that weigh you down. Don’t lose sleep over it.

Speaking of sleeping in the midst of this, I have found a new way of coping that allows me to get a good night’s sleep. First, I turn on my beloved HGTV about 7 pm each night that I am home in the evenings. I make a point of trying to be completely finished on the computer by then. (Studies have shown that the blue light it throws off interferes with the ability to of your body to shut down for the night.) I lay down on the couch with my favorite throw and watch the folks buy, fix up, or sell their residence.

Next, I shut my eyes during the commercials so that I won’t be tempted by all the food commercials. This puts me in the frame of mind where I sometimes fall asleep right then! When I wake up after my catnap, I take my shower and put on my pajamas and get ready for bed right then, and then return to the sofa for more HGTV. When I wake up after yet another catnap, I go straight to bed.  This relaxes me enough to sleep through the night, unless my burglar alarm tells me there is someone at my front door.

If I wake up in the middle of the night, especially if I am fretting, I pray, thanking the Lord for how He has and is working in my life. I have had 2 am Bible studies more than once. Sometimes you just wake up and can’t get back to sleep, so a cup of milk and a piece of bread while you are studying God’s word is frequently enough to lull you back to sleep.

Remember what happened to the disciples in the Mark 4 story.  They were following God’s will for their lives yet they still faced difficulties, like the big storm. Jesus was with them; they just didn’t realize what a safe place they were in. Circumstances made it seem like they were going to perish, but Jesus, being God, calmed the storm and the seas. He did it for them; He can do it for you. He said, “Peace, be still.”

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Feeling Alone in this Big World? Pray for Companionship!

Hello everyone:

Are you feeling lonely on the weekends or other times in the week? Pray that the Lord will send you someone to have fellowship with. You don’t have to be looking for a spouse here- I have a friend who prayed that the Lord would give her someone to hang out with on the weekends- her loneliest time of the week- and God provided her with female companions every weekend since she asked Him for company. Isn’t God great?

I have several widowed or divorced friends who have a presence on Facebook. When someone wants to go to a movie but would prefer not to be alone, they post “I want to go see xyz tonight. anyone want to meet me there?”

This a great way to get to know a new friend that you previously barely knew, perhaps from a Sunday school class or other social activity, and not have to spend so much time on your own.

You know what’s so funny about my friend from the first paragraph? God answered her prayer so quickly that she initially turned down her first two invitations to do something. Then she said it was as if God spoke directly to her and asked, “Hey, you said you were lonely, so what gives? Here is companionship I have given you, so take it.”

She texted her friend back and asked, “Is it too late to accept your offer to go to the Peaks of Otter this morning?” They went and had a fantastic time! Tomorrow, they’re going to Smith Mountain Lake, where my friend has never been, and I would be willing to bet that they will have a wonderful time! The next day, my friend will be with her best friend, who asked her out to dinner. Great deal!

God answers our prayers and He knows the desires of our hearts. So take the time to pray and then to listen for His answer.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more

Pool Maintenance: Don’t Lose Your Pool over it

Hello everyone:

Let me tell you a story about a pool mistake that was costly. P

Part of lawn maintenance is the care of your pool, if you have one.

Pump filters need to be changed once a week in order to keep the pump running well. Chemicals need to be added to keep your pool water from becoming really nasty.

Bugs and birds are not potty-trained and can make a real mess of your pool. Be sure to follow the instructions that your manufacturer has for the pool you own.

I used to work many years ago for a motel in Cocoa Beach, Florida; the Cape Colony Inn was lovely, for a circa 1960s motel. Although it was old when I went to work there, the pool was quite nice, nestled as it was in the middle of the circle of rooms.

Shortly after I left, they got a new manager, someone from the north who did now know about Florida’s high water tables and proximity to sea level. He insisted that the pool people drain the pool and scrub it out.

When they did, the concrete liner popped out of the ground as it was pushed upward by the water level in the ground, permanently ruining the pool. Because of changes in the building codes, the motel was not allowed to build a new pool.

They turned it into a rock garden. Since it was now a motel in Cocoa Beach that did not have a pool, the Cape Colony Inn quickly went out of business. The northern-transplanted manager was long gone by the time the motel closed. The take-away from this is: follow directions carefully.

What pool tips do you have? My readers would love to read your stories of woe or experience, as well.

Best,

Dr. Sheri

Read more