Hello everyone:
A leak on the second floor will damage the ceiling on the first floor. You can’t pretend it isn’t there and hope it will go away. If the leak is allowed to fester, you will have to replace the ceiling in whatever room is under the leak, so it is best to get it fixed right away.
Before you automatically think you can’t fix it, google it and see if it is something you can handle. There are several websites that tell you how to fix it in five easy steps, so see if you can find your type of faucet (if that’s what is leaking) online and give it a try. Otherwise, look for the list of plumbers your husband left behind (or go to your hardware store or to your real estate agent for a list of competent plumbers) and get the work done.
Please note: Sometimes the water leak is actually water from the bathtub that the kids have knocked out as they are bathing. The metal ring that seems to serve no purpose that is halfway between the bathtub plug and the faucet can leak and make water go underneath the tub and through your floor, if you splash the water just right. While this should not be your children’s goal, sometimes it does happen.
The good news is that is does not necessarily mean you have a leak somewhere. It means you have rambunctious kids who have gotten somewhat sloppy with their bathwater.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
When you are changing a light bulb, there are several things to keep in mind. Please use the right size light bulb for the fixture. It does not work well when you don’t have the right bulb for the job.
Please do not touch the metal thingy as you replace the light bulb or you may need an electrician (or an ambulance). Ladies, this is the voice of experience here.
Next, make sure the light bulb is cool to the touch before removing it. Even if you use a cloth to protect your hand, you still run the risk of getting a nasty burn.
Finally, turn the power off before you change it. Getting shocked is no fun. There are YouTube videos on how to do this, so find the one that matches your fixture before you do anything and learn from someone who is actually doing it (and who knows how to do it properly!).
The last time I performed this task, the light bulb I used was the wrong size and my finger touched the metal thingy on the light bulb. I received a nasty electric shock and blew the lighting fixture to kingdom come. It was not a pleasant experience, so check online for information on completing this task.
The good news is that I am still among the living; the bad news is that the lighting fixture is not. The good news is that we now have a new light fixture; the bad news is that there was nothing wrong with the old one before I changed the light bulb (except that the bulb was old and worn out).
What lighting fixture tales of woe do you have to share?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Sometimes smoke detectors signal their displeasure by going off. This can mean several things: your house is on fire, your candles are burning down, or your home’s heating system is burning off dust because you just switched it from air conditioning to heat. It could also mean that dinner is ready. At my house, it is usually the latter.
If you have not recently changed over from air conditioning to heat and you aren’t cooking or burning candles, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND CALL 911. [Note: It is good to have your HVAC system checked regularly; this can prevent the heart-stopping sound that occurs when your detector goes off unexpectedly.]
Candle safety is also vitally important. Many folks are changing to the fake-flame candles, but others still prefer to have an open flame. (I find that a candle can cover up the smell of burning meals; my hubby used to say that he could tell in advance what dinner would be like by the size of the candle burning when he got home from work. If the big one was going, he would offer to take me out to eat.) If you use old-fashioned candles, keep the wicks trimmed to ¼ inch, do not keep them burning more hours than their width in diameter, and never, ever leave them burning unattended.
When a smoke detector goes off due to burning food (but without a fire), there are several ways to stop the alarm. One is to wave paper near the detector, until the noise stops. Please note that you may also need to open the windows and doors and turn on a fan. You can also take the detector down and throw it in the yard (this is my sister-in-law’s preferred approach). Please resist the temptation to hit the detector with a hammer. While this may work short-term, the end result will be the sudden need to replace the now-destroyed detector. It will, however, solve your immediate problem.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
An acquaintance of mine shared with us on Facebook that her hubby of 19 years had moved to a state where marijuana was legal so he could smoke pot without fear of the law.
Several months later, he called and told her that he and his girlfriend and some of his new buddies were coming back to their home to get all of his stuff, and oh, by the way, he wants a divorce asap. As a Christian, she was shocked that he had fallen so far.
Today was the day that he came, he saw, he took, he signed, and he left. The marriage is over, officially broken. The house is sold; the papers have been signed. His things are gone, off to his new life. Her life has taken turns she did not expect, but there it is. Alone.
Alone, but not completely. She has some friends who are supporting her emotionally and prayerfully. Her question now seems to be “What do I do now?’
Friends, that is why I have written Suddenly Single. To answer that very question. Please share this website with your friends, many of whom may be going through a similar circumstance, or at least something with the same outcome. Divorce. Being alone.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
In honor of the hurricanes that have been ripping through the States these days, I would like to share some hurricane shutter maintenance ideas with you today.
These lovely items are used mostly in the south. Fortunate folks have the electric kind that go up and down with a flick of a switch. Others have the manual kind, where it is necessary to use brutal force (or a big stick) to get them up and down. While we are on the topic, we will go over both kinds, but here is one tip for both kinds of owners: at least once a month, open and close them, to make sure that they have not frozen either open or closed. Can you get them all the way open or all the way closed? With electric shutters, the main problem is that they can freeze in place if you don’t open and close them regularly. Even though you won’t need them except in case of emergency, take the time to open and close them about once a month. This is especially important, since chances are excellent that you live in an area where the moisture in the air corrodes things.
Most electric shutters come with a back-up battery. Keep it plugged in and fully charged so that you can still get your shutters up and down in case of power loss. Please note that the information on lubricating shutters in the next paragraph also applies to electric shutters; they need to be lubricated on a regular basis, just like their manual counterparts.
With manual shutters, they can be very stubborn when you are trying to open or close them. Make sure you have used a silicone spray lubricant sparingly on the lock, the rolls, and the tracks on the side of the shutters, if they do not want to open when they are closed. (The lubricant will stain whatever it lands on, including concrete if you are outside when you use it and rugs if you are inside, so don’t use a lot of it. Have a rag handy and wipe up any excessive lubricant that is dripping.) Slip the key into the lock and turn it carefully. Do not force it, or you may end up breaking the little key that you get with these kinds of shutters.
If the lock is stubborn, wiggle the whole shutter a bit, to loosen things up. I keep a 1×2 stick with me when opening or closing my Florida condo’s hurricane shutters. The stick can help you get some torque as you open the shutter, but the stick can also be slipped onto the bottom rung of the shutter when you are trying with all your strength to close it. Try to move quickly and with force as you pull down the shutter. Put the stick in the bottom rung after you have the shutter about ¾ of the way closed and put your weight behind the force as you push the shutter completely down. It should click when it is locked.
You may notice that the outside of your shutters gets dirty. I suggest using Windex and paper towels on the outside of the shutters on a monthly basis. If you don’t clean them, your hands will get very dirty as you open and close them. They clean very easily and offer you the opportunity to meet and greet your neighbors.
I hope that this helps guide you with the use of your shutters. Otherwise, the experience of dealing with them could make you….well, shudder.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
When I was a girl, we had license tags that were changed annually. The screws were frequently corroded onto the plate, so my dad would take Coke and douse the screws. The next day, the Coke had eaten through the rust and he could get the license tag bolts to turn more easily. [I am grateful that I have an allergy to Coke because I cannot imagine what it does to one’s stomach if it will remove rust.]
The point of this story is: How many of us would have thought to use Coke to get rid of rust and corrosion? Without the internet to guide us, probably not too many of us would have come up with this idea. Like removing license tags from years gone by, there are a lot of things that need to be done to maintain your home.
In fact, there is a whole plethora of things to do for your house that you probably never thought about…until now.
The list is pretty extensive, but here are what a couple of my friends and family members say you need to take care of on a regular basis: maintain the water treatment system if your home has one, make sure the roof is in good repair, keep gutters clog-free, fix any plumbing leaks promptly before extensive damage occurs, clear any drains that might be clogged, unclog toilets as needed, replace light bulbs when they burn out, maintain or replace appliances, keep garage door openers functional, change filters on your HVAC system, have the HVAC system serviced regularly, prevent bug and insect infestations, control rodents, know when to take trash out for pickup (and when to bring the trashcans back to the house), and keep walls and ceilings freshly painted.
Wow- that sounds like quite a list. The good news is that your spouse actually did more to contribute to the household than you originally thought. The bad news is that, now that you are alone, you either have to do them or you have to pay someone else to do them for you.
The good news is that I tell you how to do all of these things in my book, Suddenly Single. The bad news is that it hasn’t been published yet.
The good news is that you can help make that publication a reality by liking, sharing, and commenting on this blog. The bad news is that I need a boat load of folks to do that.
The good news is that, if you send this blog to everyone you know, that can happen a lot faster than it would if you just say, “Oh, this is nice” and move on. Let’s make some good news, folks!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I run into several suddenly single divorcees every school semester. These are gals who thought they had their whole lives planned out, until they got the shock of their lives when their hubbies wanted out. They decided to go back to college and get the degree that they are sure will set them on a more financially sound future.
As a college professor, I think they are on the right track. Usually they are getting into nursing, which I understand is an in-demand field that should keep them financially afloat. These ladies deserve kudos for what they are doing and I would like to dedicate this blog to them.
From my observation, they are the following:
Hard-working
Serious students
Managing their family, their home, their work, and their school work without breaking a sweat. (Well, maybe a little sweat, but let’s call it “glistening” instead.)
They get assignments in on time; those assignments are done correctly the first time.
They do not make excuses for why they can’t do their work. As the commercials say, they “just do it.”
They are sometimes broken in spirit but I’m telling them right now that I have the utmost respect for what they are doing.
They are winners, no matter what their ex says.
You can do this, ladies! Go for it and do not be weary in doing well!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
One of my former co-workers had a massive shock when he returned home from work one evening. He noticed that the house seemed a bit different when he pulled up, but it was not until he got inside his home that he realized that all of the curtains were missing. He also found that his living room was devoid of furniture. Sure enough, he went from room to room and found nothing in them. His dining room contained a folding table and one folding chair in place of the formal dining room set that had been there that morning.
He went into the kitchen and found one fork, one spoon, one knife, one plate, one cup, one bowl, and one glass sitting on the counter next to a single kitchen towel. He climbed the stairs, where he found his children’s bedrooms completely empty; the master bedroom’s king sized bed had been replaced by a twin bed with a set of sheets, a pillow, and a single blanket stacked on it. The bathroom had a shower curtain liner but the fancy shower curtain that he had just seen earlier that day had vanished. There was one towel and a single washcloth in the vanity.
A knock came on the door; a male neighbor was standing outside, holding a pot of stew. He told my co-worker that they had not known how to get ahold of him (this was before the days of cellphones and he had never told them where he worked), but that, as soon as he had left for work that morning, a moving van had pulled up to the house and his wife had directed the sudden move-out. The neighbor offered to stay with him while he absorbed the information, but my co-worker thanked him, took the pot of stew, and went inside to face the fact that he was now unexpectedly single. He knew that he and his wife had been having some problems in their marriage, but he had no idea of her plans.
They eventually got divorced, with his wife keeping all of their furniture and being awarded one half of the value of the house. She was also awarded alimony and child support, but this was more than 30 years ago and men could get out of paying these monthly court-awarded fees by moving out of state. He was so mad that he took a job in a nearby state and moved there. He did not pay her anything, saying that she had poisoned the kids against him and he would see them again when they were old enough to drive over to the state where he now lived to visit him. He could have been arrested for nonpayment of alimony and child support, had he returned to their state so he did not go there again.
Yes, this is a true story of someone who was caught completely off-guard. What stories can you share about this same topic? No names, please. (Lawsuits are expensive and no fun!)
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
For my divorced readers, it is my earnest hope that your spouse did not control the finances of your family exclusively. You should have had your own savings and checking accounts so that you had some control over your own expenses. Not having access to your own money is a recipe for disaster, if you have become suddenly single.
When a very close friend of mine became unexpectedly unmarried, her estranged spouse allegedly cleaned out three bank accounts that they had jointly, leaving her with a grand total of $6 for the next two weeks before pay day. By removing a check from the middle of the checkbook, she did not notice that one was missing when she picked up the checkbook to pay bills.
She received a call from a friend at her bank the next afternoon; the banker told her that her estranged husband entered the bank, asked how much he had to leave in the accounts so that his withdrawing money would not trigger a special statement ($2 in each account), and took out the rest of the money.
Fortunately, she had thought ahead and had opened a personal checking account and deposited her paycheck for that week in the account, so things were not as disastrous as they could have been. She still had to cover the checks she had written before becoming aware of the situation and she thereby avoided bank charges that would have otherwise been incurred.
I hope that you were not in this same situation; I hope that you had your own money, no matter how little the amount. Do you have your own tale of woe on this topic? I would love to share your story with my readers, without mentioning your name.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
One of the most difficult or most fun things is to travel as a single parent with a small child. I have a friend who travels with her little kids on a regular basis and they seem to do just fine. Other parents do not face the same pleasant journey, so I wanted to share some tips that I have used through the years. I would love to hear your ideas as well, so please do write back.
When one of my sons had to spend a lot of time in the stroller for whatever reason, I gave him toys that he only got while being well-behaved in that stroller. Kids today have their own iPads to look at, but this was in the olden days where kids looked at books, played with toys, or viewed the scenery while they were in their strollers.
If the young fellow started acting up, the toy (or whatever) was taken away. Now it is important to understand that little kids need to stretch their legs periodically, but this toy-take-away happened when they were only in the stroller for a few minutes. Sometimes Mommy had to get from Point A to Point B quickly and the stroller was the only way to accomplish this.
When we traveled on a plane, I made a point of bringing along never-seen-before toys and sitting towards the back of the plane. The toys would entertain for a little while, as I was waiting for the sound of the engine and movement of the plane to gently lull my son to sleep. He got a nap and so did I. We awoke refreshed and ready for action when we landed. [Also, sitting in the back of the plane meant we had twice the number of bathrooms nearby and could get to them easily.]
When we went somewhere by car, I brought a goodie bag of toys that hadn’t been seen recently and doled them out as needed. If the kids were misbehaving, they did not get rewarded with a toy, however. We also took periodic stops for bathrooms, snacks, and to get the wiggles out.
I hope this makes your traveling more pleasant. What ideas have you come up with as you hit the roads or the skies on a trip with a toddler?
Best,
Dr. Sheri