Hello everyone:
Cooking can be fun or a fretful activity. For those not used to having to go it alone, I have blogged today about some very basic cooking tips. I hope you find them helpful.
There is a difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon and a half a cup and a third of a cup. It really does matter which measuring spoon and measuring cup you use. The measurements are usually etched into the measuring spoons and cups, but you may need your reading glasses to see them. Don’t be lazy here, my friend, go get your glasses!
Also, be careful not to mix up sugar and salt. There is a difference between the two. One tastes good in pies and the other will gag you. (Don’t ask!) Okay, you can ask. My hubby went over to a men’s ministry meeting at a friend’s house some years back. One of the daughters had worked all afternoon to make them a strawberry pie. It looked luscious. The men couldn’t wait to dig in. And then one of them did. Aughhhhh……He spat the pie out immediately and ran to the sink to wash out his mouth. Yes, Dear Daughter had mixed up salt and sugar. The deer in the neighborhood had a treat. The men did not.
Finally, there is a difference between ketchup and tomato sauce. One is great on hamburgers and the other….not so much. Do not refill your ketchup bottle with tomato sauce – or, worse yet, tomato paste! You and your guests will notice. I promise. Quick story: I was working at a hotel and my then-hubby went to the hotel’s restaurant to get us some lunch. He brought back some burgers and a bottle of ketchup. I poured a liberal amount on my burger and fries, only to discover it was tomato paste. The new restaurant manager was very wet behind the ears and he didn’t realize there was a difference between the two- he was focused on saving money by refilling bottles. His idea didn’t work out so well. I did get a new lunch out of the deal, however.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hi everyone:
It’s that time of year, almost, when those of us who live in the north are gearing up to rake leaves. When I lived in Connecticut, with seventeen trees in my front yard alone, that was a pretty daunting task. It would literally rain down leaves. I could rake for four hours or more, go inside, look out the window, and be unable to see anything that I had accomplished.
Let’s get you ready, as a new divorcee or widow, to get your leaves taken care of. (If you leave them on the ground, they’ll destroy your lawn, so they do need to be picked up.)
First, find out what you should do with the leaves. Will the town pick them up if you rake them to the roadside? Are you expected to bag them up? Is there a limit to how many bags you can fill at a time? Call your City Hall to find out this information or ask a reliable neighbor.
Next, make sure you have a good pair of garden gloves. Do not buy these on the cheap. Cheap gloves make your hands sore and if your yard is big, you will end up with blisters that burst and bleed. It hurts and it looks horrid. This is the voice of experience- do not doubt me.
Next, wear comfortable clothing. You are not trying to pick up a husband while you’re doing this (that would be my guess, anyway). You know the song “Blest be the Tie that Binds?” Not in this case. Loose clothing that comfortably covers you is good. You are not going for “sexy mama” here.
Take water or some form of non-alcoholic liquid outside with you. Drink it frequently. Passing out due to dehydration should not be your goal.
Make sure you have a good rake- a plastic or flimsy one will break or be very ineffective at moving the leaves. You don’t need that frustration.
Finally, think positively. Remember what is was like to jump in the leaves that your parents had raked up? Aren’t the leaves lovely this time of year? Have fun and enjoy doing this wonderful once-a-year activity that reminds you Christmas is on its way.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I thought this picture was absolutely stunning. But what is it? Is the day dawning or fading? It all depends on your point of view and how you see things.
The photographer of this shot calls it “Lightning at Sunset,” so we see where he’s coming from. I mean, he was there and was the one who caught this breathtaking shot. He knows what was happening.
It’s kind of like that with losing your spouse. It’s very helpful to have someone alongside who has been where you are going. I’ve watched as gals or guys lost their spouse and have observed them putting their lives back together as Plan B became their life. They had planned on Plan A working just fine, until one day when it didn’t.
Whether you are the spouse who thought “till death does us part” was the way your marriage was going to unfold but ended with a divorce or you are the individual who really lived out that saying, this website is for you. Just today, I learned of a young woman who lost her seemingly-healthy hubby to a heart attack at age 45. The novel I am just finishing writing tells the story of a 40-something gal whose hubby didn’t come home from a conference- he had a one-car accident on the way home. It is based on a friend of mine’s actual experience.
The storms of life happen, dear friends, but I am here to help you through that difficult time, that storm of life. I hope you will see my blog postings as a valuable resource just for you at this time of life. Take care and stay in touch.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Let’s talk about bugs. You may like them personally under some circumstances (which I cannot imagine) but you don’t want them in the kitchen, eating your food.
When I grew up in Florida, I went to an un-air-conditioned high school with direct access to the outside world. The school had problems with palmetto bugs and cockroaches. When we put our lunches in our lockers, the bugs frequently got our lunch before lunchtime. We got used to carrying our lunches with us all morning; I developed a taste for squashed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by default because my sandwiches always looked like they were run through an old-fashioned ringer washer by lunchtime. Please note that we could also stop here and talk about the rats in the locker rooms, but I digress!
Sealed containers are great for storing cookies, pretzels, and cereal. They are not expensive and can be purchased at the grocery store. If your significant other never had them, please buy some and transfer your food into them. If your dearly beloved had them but the food has been in there for an extended period of time, dump the food and start over. You may be growing penicillin, otherwise.
Here’s a quick bit of information: if you like soft cookies, put a piece of bread in the Tupperware-type container when you add cookies and they will remain soft longer. The bread will become hard as a rock, so you will need to toss it out and replace it occasionally, but the cookies will be delightful.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I have a good friend whose ex-fiance died unexpectedly. Now, they were ex-spouses-to-be but they owned a house together. There are some potential woes ahead, so make sure that you know the law in your state, if you are the surviving party.
Go see a real estate attorney. Yes, you might be perfectly fine to take care of this yourself but it’s best to find someone who is very familiar with the laws in your state to make sure you do the right thing.
My friend had purchased the house in both their names as joint tenants with right of survivorship, from what she told me. She will need a copy of the death certificate if she wants to sell the house in the future, which she won’t get automatically, since they were never married. It will be easier to get a sealed copy of this document now (this means there is a seal on the front of the document, not that it’s stuck in an envelope you can’t open!) than if she waits until she is eventually ready to sell. Do you really want to track down his or her family fifteen or twenty years from now? I didn’t think so.
Get the deed in your name alone, or in the names of the folks you want on the house, if there are any. Remember that waiting until you feel like it may cost you or your family a whole lot of anxiety and delayed settlement day if you wait.
Make sure that your mortgage doesn’t say that the loan is accelerated if one person dies. I met a gal a few months back who didn’t tell the bank that her spouse was dead for three years, she was so afraid that they would call the loan. She couldn’t afford to pay it off, so she didn’t tell them. As it turned out, the bank didn’t accelerate the mortgage; she was fine but she lost a lot of sleep over not telling them. Read the section of the mortgage that addresses this issue or ask your lawyer about it.
In any case, don’t wait on this. The problem won’t get better with time, and you may be leaving a huge problem behind for your eventual heirs.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hi everyone:
You probably won’t believe what happened to a new friend of mine, but it is “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help her God.”
She was a new immigrant to America, having been widowed in her native land. She had six sons, all of whom were grown when she made the decision to come to the US. Once she arrived, she got a job and met a man. The man said he would marry her, if she lived with him for one year, so he could see if they were compatible. Big mistake #1.
Next, she was to turn over all of her paychecks to him, since he would manage their money. Big mistake #2.
Her employer, a very wealthy woman, wanted to help out her new employee, by giving her money to buy a car to come to work. She did use the money to buy a car, and put it in her husband’s name (he did marry her after one year), since she wasn’t a citizen. Big mistake #3. I wish I was finished, but I’m not and neither was she.
Her employer gifted her with money on a regular basis, to help out the adult children she had left behind. She signed it all over to her husband, who promised to send it to her kids. He didn’t. Big mistake #4.
He sent her home to visit her kids (her employer paid for them to both go but he cashed in his ticket). Big mistake #5.
While she was gone, he emptied out their house and sold all of her possessions. He also emptied their joint bank accounts, resulting in a net loss to her of 3/4 of a million dollars. Big mistake #6 (and maybe even 7 & 8).
He was abusive to her and she told no one because he said he would get her deported if she said anything. Big mistake #7.
He eventually walked out, taking up with another woman who helped him spend the money he’d stolen. A few years later, he had major health problems and guess who he turned to? Yep. This time, she didn’t take him back. Alleluia!
Feel free to share sob stories that you know about. I hope the gals didn’t go through the mistakes this woman did.
Oh, yes, there was one more mistake: he forced her to sign over the pension from his employer, that would have paid her about $1000.00 a month. The girlfriend got it.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I have a very special friend who I met briefly at a writer’s conference two years ago. We became friends on Facebook a little while later and I have watched with great interest her progress in the publishing world (she’s doing very well!). I praise the Lord for her success. She is s stunning and intelligent woman.
A few months ago, she shared on Facebook that her marriage was in trouble and that her husband wanted out. He wanted “space” which, loosely translated, means he had found someone else to fill it. Things on the marital front were challenging over the next few months. A week or so ago, her husband announced his impending wedding, which has since happened. There is only one problem: they aren’t divorced yet. Bigamy or a fake marriage, who can tell?
This blog is to let my special friend know that folks care about her. You may be in the same boat. Please know that, no matter how you feel right now or what your recalcitrant spouse says, you are somebody special. You have worth in the eyes of God, who loves and cares for you. And you are “some bunny….”
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of what you want in life when something that looks really good pops up on your radar screen.
Maybe it’s a person that you are inexplicably attracted to or someone that you just seem to “click” with. The fireworks are going off and you think that he or she is the one for you. Caution is a good idea here.
I’ve had a few friends, all female, who found themselves divorced or otherwise just alone as they approached middle age. A good looking guy came into their lives and, the next thing we knew, they were married. One gal I know got married to a man she’d only known three weeks. It didn’t last.
Now, friends, my parents met on a blind date, got engaged in three days, married seven months later, and were wonderfully in love throughout their 67 year marriage. I know you can get swept off your feet and have it work out. But sometimes is doesn’t happen that way.
If you are tempted to fall hard and fast, please ask one of your closest friends to slap you upside the head. (Not really, I’m just kidding!) But please do consider any decisions you make very carefully before you take the leap.
Find a counselor whose advice you trust and talk things through. There’s that old saying “marry in haste, regret at leisure” and I’ve known gals who spent a lot of time doing the latter when they expected the former.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Do you have a problem with mice in your house? I live in the country and find that they do periodically show up, unannounced, except for the mouse turds they leave wherever they are.
How do you get rid of them? I have my tried and true “catch them in a mousetrap and then run over them with your car” method that I have explained in an earlier blog posting.
A good friend of mine has a cat that periodically demonstrates its love by depositing half-dead mice at her feet. After she got somewhat used to this method of devotion, she said that her favorite means of removal was to pick the rodent up with a large pair of kitchen tongs and place the unfortunate animal in the toilet, for rapid flushing. She must have a really high-quality toilet, since there is no problem with the toilet accepting the mouse for disposal.
If you have a toilet that might not take such deposits, you might be better off using the tongs to toss the creature outside in order to rid your home of it. However, if the animal does not die, you could have a problem with a mad, injured mouse returning to torment your life via the courtesy of your cat, since the mouse would be considerably easier to catch in its current condition.
What do you do to rid yourself of these sometimes-cute but definitely not wanted pests? I would love to hear your stories and read your tales of mouse woe!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Carts are usually stored either outside the store or just inside the store. Some stores place them both places. [As an interesting note, Bed, Bath, and Beyond (one of my favorite stores) puts their carts in both places AND puts them in several locations throughout the store. They have learned that people will buy more on impulse if they can find a cart easily. Because many of those I-can’t-live-without-this purchases take place as people browse, they make carts readily available for people who might not want to walk all the way back to the front of the store. That’s good marketing!]
Hugely important note: Gentlemen, you have a tendency to place your cart in the middle of the aisle as you shop. This forces others to wait while you peruse the grocery offerings. Waiting for you to decide what you want to buy is not fun. Maybe the others in the store are in a hurry (this is my perpetual condition).
Maybe you think that jamming up the aisle is a good way to pick up chicks. It is not, under most circumstances. The pretty lady who has caught your eye may get a very negative impression by her inability to get around you, so please be considerate and move your cart to one side of the aisle or the other.
Also, please make sure that you check the area immediately surrounding you as you step out to continue your shopping. Otherwise, you may find yourself T-boning the other shoppers. Further note: Being a thoughtful shopper is actually a more effective way to meet someone new; men who are considerate are more likely to make a good first impression that might, just might, lead to an exchange of phone numbers and/or email addresses. This is as opposed to exchanging insurance information because you mowed the lady down in your unbridled haste (or lack thereof). Your call.
What have you experienced as a shopper that makes you think of shopping carts as weapons? I would love to hear your tale of woe!
Best,
Dr. Sheri