Hello everyone:
Perhaps you have spent most of your lifetime (so far) taking care of your family and home. For whatever reason, you are going back on the job market. You want to put your best foot forward on that all-important job interview, but how do you do it without getting the ‘deer in the headlights’ look?
Be prepared. Figure out what questions you think the interviewer might ask, based on the job you are applying for, and practice answering them. For example, the questions you might be asked if you are applying for a job as a baker are going to be different than if you are a medical professional.
But, and this is a big “but,” some of the questions can be anticipated. Here are some of the sample questions a friend of mine and I were discussing earlier today:
Tell me about yourself. [Can you do it in less than one minute? Practice telling someone about yourself until your delivery is smooth. Not too smoothly, as if you were reciting a memorized spiel, but have your words flow smoothly.]
How will our hiring you make our company better? [Watch out here- don’t tell them their business stinks or that it’s run by idiots. You may be talking to the individual who created it and he or she will not be amused if you tell them they’ve really messed up. Friend, they’ve managed without you for years (perhaps) so they won’t fold (probably) if you don’t come on board.]
Why do you want to work here? Make your comments from a sincere heart. Don’t be an Eddie Haskell. [For those of you too young to remember, he was an obnoxious character on Leave it to Beaver. You don’t want to be like him, trust me.]
Tell the truth. When reading a story about three accountants trying to get a job, the first two were asked “how much is two plus two?” They both answered “four.” The third candidate, who was successful in his job search, answered the boss “How much do you want it to be?” While he may have been hired, he compromised the person he was to get the job. Don’t do that.
I wish you well on your re-entry back into the world of business. Do you have any sample questions to share?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Since neither of the men I originally penned Suddenly Single for knows how to scramble an egg, let me share my recipe with you.
It starts with a non-stick pan heated on the stove. Put the pan on the stove and turn the heat on to medium.
Get a coffee mug, and take two eggs and crack them open by hitting them on the side with a sharp knife. Dump the contents of the eggs into the mug, checking to make sure you don’t have any eggshells in the cup (remove the shells with a spoon, if there are any eggshells in the mug).
Add a dash of milk to the mug (about a tablespoon, if you are measuring it) and stir the milk and eggs rapidly in circular motions, using a fork. (You are beating the egg here.)
When the pan is hot and the eggs are mixed up, dump them into the pan. Using a plastic spoon (one of the long cooking spoons, not a plastic spoon from a fast food restaurant), stir the eggs continuously as they cook.
The secret to great scrambled eggs is to constantly keep stirring the mixture as it cooks. When the eggs are firm, they are done.
Add salt and/or pepper to taste and eat them while they are hot. If you want toast with the eggs, make it in the toaster while your eggs are just beginning to cook. (I assume you don’t have 3 hands here, so put the toast in the toaster while the eggs are still cooking and it will be done at about the same time as the eggs.)
Enjoy!
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Your roof is probably something you never think about, unless it is leaking. Angie’s list says that, if your roof is more than 20 years old, you probably need to replace it. How old is your roof?
When did you move into the house? Did your hubby ever talk about replacing it? Look through any receipts he had for the house. You may find one that tells you when the roof was last replaced. Did he keep a calendar of home repairs? You might find the information there.
Next, look at the overall condition of the roof. Do you see any shingles that are curled or missing? Can you see daylight through your ceiling? You need to get the roof checked out. The problem here is in knowing who to call. In a perfect world, your husband would have left you a list of electricians, plumbers, carpenters, house painters, roof repairmen, and the like, but the world (as you may have noticed) is far from perfect.
Instead, find a trusted friend who knows something about home repair or a real estate agent who does foreclosure work and ask him or her for the name of someone to call. Do not ask your friend to do the work. Please understand that your friend may be very well-meaning, but an incompetent friend who takes on the job himself is almost worse than a poor contractor. You can fire a poor contractor but how do you fire a friend? My point exactly.
By the way, I have a single friend who likes to do home repair inexpensively, but this is not always a good idea. They say that “you get what you pay for” and this is certainly true in the world of home repair. The guy driving down the street that knocks on your door saying he has leftover stuff from another job and can fix your roof/driveway/anything else is not the place to find a good handyman.
My friend hired the least expensive guy around and it took him 6 months to make her bathroom ready for company (he gutted it) but there is still a problem with the leaky shower and it still isn’t fixed, 8 months later. He started re-doing her siding one year ago. The job is 1/3 done.
I hope this helps give you some guidance into the wonderful world of roofs. It is also a tactful reminder that winter is on its way and your roof needs to be in good condition before it arrives.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
When people get ready to sell their home of many years, they are emotionally attached to the property. As such, they over-value their home and see it as perfect (or, at least, eccentric or charming).
One look at all of those HGTV shows like Flip or Flop or Buying and Selling tells you that outdated looks, worn carpeting, and cabinets from the 90s are not on the top of most buyers’ wish lists.
If hiring a decorator is not in your budget, get some decorating magazines and see what the current trends are. Find out what buyers are looking for in your area by talking to some real estate agents or to the folks at the local home improvement center.
Do talk with a full time real estate agent to find out which improvements are bringing the highest return on the investment in your area. If you decide to talk with a professional contractor, talk to one who you pay for his or her advice, rather than the person who wants to make a lot of money from your job.
If you talk to a bricklayer, for example, he or she might tell you that a new fire pit in the backyard would be a great investment, but having a worn out kitchen replaced would actually bring more bang for your buck.
The thing to keep in mind is that you need to look at your home with objective eyes and working with a full time real estate agent who knows his or her stuff can really help.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Wow- I didn’t realize that there were formal divorce certificates available until I was going through unsplash photos today. I’ve heard of divorce parties, like perhaps you have. But a formal decree that says a couple is no more? It looks pretty stark.
Perhaps the whole process is stark, when you think about it. One party, or both, decides that the years they have put behind them are best left behind. A simple certificate will proclaim that they are no longer husband and wife. What the Lord has put together has indeed been torn asunder. A judge decides that they are candidates for marriage termination and that is it.
Yet, you can move on, my friends. Okay, things did not turn out like you thought they would. Would you really want to be married to someone who doesn’t want to be married to you? You might try waiting things out. Sometimes that might work out well. Indeed, I have known couples that patched things up and are very happy now. Many more, however, have not.
I hope that you will find many good ideas for moving on in my website. It was designed with you in mind. It answers the question, “what do I do now?” Maybe it’s something simple like how to fix a toilet that won’t stop running or how to navigate the grocery store (and live to tell about it!). (Gentlemen, grocery cart etiquette is vital. No, your cart does not belong in the middle of the aisle. Ladies, do not abandon your cart in the middle of the parking lot.)
You’ll read all about these topics and more. Welcome to my blog. Let me know if you have specific questions or concerns that you would like answered. If I don’t know something, I will check with the experts. Again, welcome to my website and to this new phase of the rest of your life.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
A lovely widow lady who sat next to me on a flight recently told me that her husband, aged 56 when he died, had been ill with cancer for three years. He had always taken care of everything financial. Even when he was diagnosed with cancer, the couple still thought he would respond well to treatment and that he would recover.
She said that they really believed he would be fine and therefore that they never bothered to discuss financial matters, as if that would somehow jinx him and literally make him die. After two years of no improvement, the cancer moved on to his brain, leaving him unable to communicate.
He lingered for another year, but she had to start from scratch trying to figure out what bills to pay, even as he required more and more care as his condition deteriorated. Her advice: talk about these things while you still can. She never expected to be a widow in her mid-fifties, but it happened to her.
So, what’s next for her? She is planning that she will most likely remain single. In understand that, statistically, a woman over 50 who becomes single has a better chance of being struck by lightning than remarrying. That’s the good or bad news, depending on your point of view.
The really good news is that you are young enough to make a difference in how you spend your golden years. Get your financial house in order now, so that you are able to travel, like the gal I spoke of earlier. She was very sad when her hubby died but she’s gotten through it and you will, too.
Do you have a story to share with my readers? I would love to see what you have to say.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
P.S. I’m not a particular fan of cats but I thought this one looked pretty intelligent and wanted to share it with you.
Hello everyone:
You may think that, because you are no longer married, you shouldn’t travel. Hogwash, folks. You can still have a superb time, even if you aren’t accompanied.
Take for example, air flight. I travel frequently, almost always by myself, and I have met some outstanding folks. Last night, I came home from a visit with my dad, only to sit on the plane with two graduate nursing students. They didn’t know each other and I didn’t know them, but by the end of the trip, we were offering encouragement to one another. What fun!
I was able to talk with them about qualifying exams and offer them guidance on preparing for the biggest exam they’ll ever face. My www.practicalmakeperfect.com blog for college student success has five different blog postings on preparing for the examinations.
They chatted about being mature students in a class full of younger women. We talked about setting priorities and the numerous hats we wear as women. What a great time of fellowship!
Perhaps you aren’t going for an advanced degree, so you wouldn’t talk about that type of thing, but you could discuss other things. It turns out, the women I was talking with loved House, M.D. (the topic of my dissertation), so we talked about the various characters. Maybe you are an HGTV fan. Talk about that.
You might face a flight where there’s no one you want to talk to. Fine, always carry an interesting book and you will automatically have something to entertain yourself, should conversation lag.
When you get to your destination, don’t be discouraged. Go do something you would love to do but haven’t. I went to see some million dollar houses one afternoon of my recent trip. They were having an open house, and I love to look at fancy homes. As a result of my doing this, I had a wonderful time seeing a gorgeous home and I met the angel Gabriel, or so he said. That’s a story, in and of itself. Make a comment if you want to hear it.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hi everyone:
You know you’re getting older when you are never called “Miss” anymore. You sense a feeling that age is creeping up on you when you can’t fasten your buttons as easily and it’s not because your clothes are too tight.
When you go to get on the bus at the airport parking garage and they lower the step so you can get on, the sign is there that you aren’t the spring chicken you once thought. Perhaps you went through the TSA security line and they told you that it’s okay to keep your shoes on. (Please note that this is only okay if they think you’re over the hill and most of the way down the other side.)
“But I don’t feel old,” you might whine. Look in the mirror, brother or sister. Does your makeup take more time in the morning, ladies? Do you have to re-apply it several times a day, in order to not frighten small children and animals? Groan. I am there with you, my friends.
Sometimes our age shows in other ways. Take, for example, the television shows we watch. Do you find that the advertisers focus on denture adhesive and constipation remedies? That, dear friends, is a sign of the aging times.
Do you remember when jeans used to be thrown away when they got holes in them? Now they are sold for three times the price and displayed in the store’s window.
Do you go to bed when it’s still light outside? (Okay, if you are in Port Isaac, England, the sun doesn’t go down until 10:30 pm in the summer and it’s up by 5, so that doesn’t count.) Do you have trouble sleeping past five am and wake up but aren’t sure what to do? This is a sign….
Do you go into a room and forget why you’re there? Be still my soul…
What examples can you share?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
When the bottle of ketchup or the container of strawberries gets low, you probably know it.
Would you rather run completely out of something, need it desperately, and then have to make an emergency run to the store to buy it? Nope, I didn’t think so.
When you see that the bottle that you have is less than half full, start looking for specials for that product. If something is on sale, don’t buy ten bottles if you live alone, but do stock up.
Note: Things rot and products have expiration dates. Be sure to check the dates on the side of the container. If you think you won’t use it up by then, only buy one, not fifteen. Even if it is a really good deal, if you aren’t going to use it before it expires, then it really is not wise to buy too many of whatever it is.
I went to help clean out a friend’s kitchen when his wife died. It was amazing what I found. There were spices that had expired twenty years ago in his kitchen cabinet, cans of soup that had been officially dead for several years, and ketchup that had fermented (if that is possible). I’m glad he didn’t eat any of those things. He could have gotten seriously ill.
Please throw away anything that’s expired, so you won’t.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Let’s face it. There are some days when you just don’t feel like facing the day. The love of your life is no longer around, for whatever reason. The person you married is physically still there, perhaps, but has checked out mentally. Don’t cut yourself off. Stay with it.
Why is this important? I have seen several people who basically disconnected from life when they lost their significant other. With enough years of isolation, they became less than they had been, mentally and physically.
After a devastating loss such as the death or departure of a spouse, it can be difficult to get back into life. If you are a member of a church or synagogue, you may already be surrounded by friends who share your beliefs and values. But what about the individual who does not belong to a place of worship, or who simply wants to grieve alone? It is important that that person get back into the world in his or her own time.
There are numerous interest groups where you can join other like-minded people and keep your mind active. The temptation is to isolate yourself until you are “ready” but you may never feel ready. The groups you might enjoy include but are not limited to stamp clubs, game clubs (like bridge and other card games), book clubs, scrapbooking groups, couponing clubs, surfers, travelers, and Chatty Cathys.
If you live in an area with many senior citizens and you are an older individual, you may find there is a senior citizen center nearby where you could visit and take classes for little or no cost. If there is a class at the local community college on something you always wanted to learn about, you may be able to take the course for the cost of the books, if you are 62 years or older.
Jump back in, don’t cover your head and hope the world will go away. It might not be easy, at first, but it is the best thing for your future.
Best,
Dr. Sheri