Hello everyone:
When you are changing a light bulb, there are several things to keep in mind. Please use the right size light bulb for the fixture. It does not work well when you don’t have the right bulb for the job.
Please do not touch the metal thingy as you replace the light bulb or you may need an electrician (or an ambulance). Ladies, this is the voice of experience here.
Next, make sure the light bulb is cool to the touch before removing it. Even if you use a cloth to protect your hand, you still run the risk of getting a nasty burn.
Finally, turn the power off before you change it. Getting shocked is no fun. There are YouTube videos on how to do this, so find the one that matches your fixture before you do anything and learn from someone who is actually doing it (and who knows how to do it properly!).
The last time I performed this task, the light bulb I used was the wrong size and my finger touched the metal thingy on the light bulb. I received a nasty electric shock and blew the lighting fixture to kingdom come. It was not a pleasant experience, so check online for information on completing this task.
The good news is that I am still among the living; the bad news is that the lighting fixture is not. The good news is that we now have a new light fixture; the bad news is that there was nothing wrong with the old one before I changed the light bulb (except that the bulb was old and worn out).
What lighting fixture tales of woe do you have to share?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
I was talking with a caregiver today about how demented folks sometimes feel depressed by their lack of contribution to life. She told me about a gal who gave her demented father some sheets of packing material and told him that the company needed him to test their product by popping all of the bubbles. He spends two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon popping the sheets. As a result of his work, he feels like someone needs him. He believes that he is being paid for his work, and recently asked for a raise.
My friend told me how she is looking for a typewriter so that her mother can type up copies of various documents. It is not a matter of my friend needing to have this done, but her mother enjoyed typing as a younger woman and can relate to this activity in spite of her dementia. Her mother also liked to paint, so she is looking for some small project for this elderly woman to work on.
The point here is to find something that your loved one liked to do when he or she was in full possession of his or her faculties and give the individual the chance to keep doing it. This can make a huge difference in how the person feels about life.
What tips do you have for helping demented individuals feel valued?
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Sometimes smoke detectors signal their displeasure by going off. This can mean several things: your house is on fire, your candles are burning down, or your home’s heating system is burning off dust because you just switched it from air conditioning to heat. It could also mean that dinner is ready. At my house, it is usually the latter.
If you have not recently changed over from air conditioning to heat and you aren’t cooking or burning candles, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND CALL 911. [Note: It is good to have your HVAC system checked regularly; this can prevent the heart-stopping sound that occurs when your detector goes off unexpectedly.]
Candle safety is also vitally important. Many folks are changing to the fake-flame candles, but others still prefer to have an open flame. (I find that a candle can cover up the smell of burning meals; my hubby used to say that he could tell in advance what dinner would be like by the size of the candle burning when he got home from work. If the big one was going, he would offer to take me out to eat.) If you use old-fashioned candles, keep the wicks trimmed to ¼ inch, do not keep them burning more hours than their width in diameter, and never, ever leave them burning unattended.
When a smoke detector goes off due to burning food (but without a fire), there are several ways to stop the alarm. One is to wave paper near the detector, until the noise stops. Please note that you may also need to open the windows and doors and turn on a fan. You can also take the detector down and throw it in the yard (this is my sister-in-law’s preferred approach). Please resist the temptation to hit the detector with a hammer. While this may work short-term, the end result will be the sudden need to replace the now-destroyed detector. It will, however, solve your immediate problem.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
An acquaintance of mine shared with us on Facebook that her hubby of 19 years had moved to a state where marijuana was legal so he could smoke pot without fear of the law.
Several months later, he called and told her that he and his girlfriend and some of his new buddies were coming back to their home to get all of his stuff, and oh, by the way, he wants a divorce asap. As a Christian, she was shocked that he had fallen so far.
Today was the day that he came, he saw, he took, he signed, and he left. The marriage is over, officially broken. The house is sold; the papers have been signed. His things are gone, off to his new life. Her life has taken turns she did not expect, but there it is. Alone.
Alone, but not completely. She has some friends who are supporting her emotionally and prayerfully. Her question now seems to be “What do I do now?’
Friends, that is why I have written Suddenly Single. To answer that very question. Please share this website with your friends, many of whom may be going through a similar circumstance, or at least something with the same outcome. Divorce. Being alone.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
The people of Florida are dealing with the leftover issues of Hurricane Irma this week. As of yesterday, 7 million people did not have power or water in their homes. This can be very difficult in the midst of trying times for folks who are dealing with elderly relatives.
Here are some quick tips:
Make sure that your elderly relative (and you personally, for that matter) remains hydrated. I hope you purchased extra supplies of water before the storm. If you have lost your power and have no means of ventilation in your home, they will “dry out” faster and have a greater need for fluids.
Try to have some movement of air in the house. If possible, open windows across from each other, so that you get some cross-ventilation going on there. If that doesn’t work so well, try to get your relative outside for some fresh air. That was a bit difficult yesterday, since the outside temperature was in the 90s but today it is a little better, so do get him or her outside. Fresh air, especially if it is accompanied by a breeze, can be rejuvenating.
If you also lost your water, then perhaps you cannot flush the toilets (hopefully, you collected some water in your bathtub before the storm and have a bucket handy. If not, please plan better next time). The rule of thumb would be to “not flush for number one” more than a couple of times a day. If you are a lady and need toilet paper, put your used paper in a Ziploc baggie and start a new baggie when the old one gets full. That way, when your water does come back, you won’t clog up your toilet with a lot of paper, but you can still use the normal amount when you visit the bathroom.
If you have a pool that has not been dirtied up by the storm, you can use that for bathing….sort of. The question becomes: Do I want to smell of sweat or chlorine? Your call on that one- I wouldn’t begin to tell you which one to choose!
The good news is that one of your neighbors might get power and water back before you do. How good of a friend are you? They may invite you over to bathe, which would be incredibly kind of them. If they do, please clean up after yourself and bring your own towels, if possible. Yes, you won’t be able to wash your towels afterwards but at least you will be showing yourself to be a good neighbor.
If you have some tips to share, I would love to hear your ideas!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Veteran Hurricane Survivor
Hello everyone:
In honor of the hurricanes that have been ripping through the States these days, I would like to share some hurricane shutter maintenance ideas with you today.
These lovely items are used mostly in the south. Fortunate folks have the electric kind that go up and down with a flick of a switch. Others have the manual kind, where it is necessary to use brutal force (or a big stick) to get them up and down. While we are on the topic, we will go over both kinds, but here is one tip for both kinds of owners: at least once a month, open and close them, to make sure that they have not frozen either open or closed. Can you get them all the way open or all the way closed? With electric shutters, the main problem is that they can freeze in place if you don’t open and close them regularly. Even though you won’t need them except in case of emergency, take the time to open and close them about once a month. This is especially important, since chances are excellent that you live in an area where the moisture in the air corrodes things.
Most electric shutters come with a back-up battery. Keep it plugged in and fully charged so that you can still get your shutters up and down in case of power loss. Please note that the information on lubricating shutters in the next paragraph also applies to electric shutters; they need to be lubricated on a regular basis, just like their manual counterparts.
With manual shutters, they can be very stubborn when you are trying to open or close them. Make sure you have used a silicone spray lubricant sparingly on the lock, the rolls, and the tracks on the side of the shutters, if they do not want to open when they are closed. (The lubricant will stain whatever it lands on, including concrete if you are outside when you use it and rugs if you are inside, so don’t use a lot of it. Have a rag handy and wipe up any excessive lubricant that is dripping.) Slip the key into the lock and turn it carefully. Do not force it, or you may end up breaking the little key that you get with these kinds of shutters.
If the lock is stubborn, wiggle the whole shutter a bit, to loosen things up. I keep a 1×2 stick with me when opening or closing my Florida condo’s hurricane shutters. The stick can help you get some torque as you open the shutter, but the stick can also be slipped onto the bottom rung of the shutter when you are trying with all your strength to close it. Try to move quickly and with force as you pull down the shutter. Put the stick in the bottom rung after you have the shutter about ¾ of the way closed and put your weight behind the force as you push the shutter completely down. It should click when it is locked.
You may notice that the outside of your shutters gets dirty. I suggest using Windex and paper towels on the outside of the shutters on a monthly basis. If you don’t clean them, your hands will get very dirty as you open and close them. They clean very easily and offer you the opportunity to meet and greet your neighbors.
I hope that this helps guide you with the use of your shutters. Otherwise, the experience of dealing with them could make you….well, shudder.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
A friend of mine is a fellow with a real heart for older folks. He took care of an elderly neighbor for many years because she had no family. It came as a real shock when, following her death, her lawyer informed him that the woman had left everything to him. This included a small bank account and her house, which was in dire need of repair. He is a contractor by trade, so he immediately set to work to get it ready to sell.
He was not prepared for the next shock: she had gotten a reverse mortgage several years prior to her death. She had been living on the money from the mortgage and had left him a house whose equity was almost totally eaten up by the mortgage.
By the time everything was over, he barely made enough money to pay for the expenses he had incurred while fixing up the house. It was only the search by the title company that revealed that there was a mortgage on the property; she had no paperwork in the house that indicated it was anything but paid for and he assumed that it was free and clear of encumbrances.
Oops. Perhaps he should have checked things out more carefully. He would have still taken the house most likely, but he would have watched his expenses more carefully when getting ready to sell the house. By doing so, he would have probably eked out a small profit or would have at least had a more comfortable expense-versus-money-received margin at the end of the day.
Do you have a similar tale of woe to share with my readers? I would love to hear from you and to include your story (without names being mentioned) in my next book.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
When I was a girl, we had license tags that were changed annually. The screws were frequently corroded onto the plate, so my dad would take Coke and douse the screws. The next day, the Coke had eaten through the rust and he could get the license tag bolts to turn more easily. [I am grateful that I have an allergy to Coke because I cannot imagine what it does to one’s stomach if it will remove rust.]
The point of this story is: How many of us would have thought to use Coke to get rid of rust and corrosion? Without the internet to guide us, probably not too many of us would have come up with this idea. Like removing license tags from years gone by, there are a lot of things that need to be done to maintain your home.
In fact, there is a whole plethora of things to do for your house that you probably never thought about…until now.
The list is pretty extensive, but here are what a couple of my friends and family members say you need to take care of on a regular basis: maintain the water treatment system if your home has one, make sure the roof is in good repair, keep gutters clog-free, fix any plumbing leaks promptly before extensive damage occurs, clear any drains that might be clogged, unclog toilets as needed, replace light bulbs when they burn out, maintain or replace appliances, keep garage door openers functional, change filters on your HVAC system, have the HVAC system serviced regularly, prevent bug and insect infestations, control rodents, know when to take trash out for pickup (and when to bring the trashcans back to the house), and keep walls and ceilings freshly painted.
Wow- that sounds like quite a list. The good news is that your spouse actually did more to contribute to the household than you originally thought. The bad news is that, now that you are alone, you either have to do them or you have to pay someone else to do them for you.
The good news is that I tell you how to do all of these things in my book, Suddenly Single. The bad news is that it hasn’t been published yet.
The good news is that you can help make that publication a reality by liking, sharing, and commenting on this blog. The bad news is that I need a boat load of folks to do that.
The good news is that, if you send this blog to everyone you know, that can happen a lot faster than it would if you just say, “Oh, this is nice” and move on. Let’s make some good news, folks!
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Even though I usually blog on Tuesdays and Fridays, this simply could not wait. There is a sale that I absolutely must tell you about.
It is at one of my favorite stores, Banana Republic. Their merchandise is nicely made and is generally a great price. I shop there several times a year, especially for my sons.
Here’s the deal: when I was walking at the mall today, I noticed a giagantic sign on Banana Republic’s window: 40% off everything! Hey, that sounded good to me, count me in.
Underneath that siren call were the somewhat smaller words “No exclusions for Banana Republic merchandise.” I thought everything in that store was BR merchandise, but who am I to argue? Fine, we’re still good. I’m going to get my purse when my fitness walk is finished and I am so in that store!
Underneath those words, in much smaller font, were the words “some exclusions apply.” Now wait a minute here. Everything is included, including the inclusion of merchandise that BR doesn’t actually own, except for what is not included. Am I following here? Or are we excluding exclusions for the purposes of exclusion? I am not sure what’s happening here, but it doesn’t sound good.
This kinda reminds me of the one-day Macy’s sales that are frequently advertised. The preview day is Friday and the sale is Saturday but it has been my experience when attending preview days that they NEVER ask you to put the merchandise back and return on Saturday. We may have some fuzzy math going here, but that really sounds like a two-day one-day sale there. (If they really wanted to be creative, why not add in a “review day” so that their two-day one-day sale could actually last three days?) Macy’s, I have provided that worthwhile idea completely free of charge. You’re welcome.
Folks, can you help me out here? What is going on with my beloved Banana Republic? Is what I want excluded or included? It would be great to hear from you.
Best,
Dr. Sheri
Hello everyone:
Do you know anyone who has become demented? It is not a pretty process. There is a lovely lady who walks at our local mall who got the dementia diagnosis a couple of years ago. Those of us who know her have watched her mental capacities shrink dramatically.
She still drives herself to and from the mall because her busy family still doesn’t seem to “get it.” She has gone from someone who eagerly joined in our post-walk chats to someone who has difficulty talking. She is a friendly person, but now she goes up to total strangers and hugs them, rubs the backs of attractive men (who seem shocked by the attention), and stops everyone multiple times to say “hello” as she walks down the hallway.
She is an endearing woman with a beautiful smile but she no longer remembers to bathe, wash her hair, or change her clothes. But she still drives. She recently went into diapers because she had numerous daily accidents and her family got tired of moping up after her. But she still travels around town by herself. In her car. Alone.
It is my understanding that there are seven stages of dementia. She seems to be hovering between stages six and seven. What do you recommend for this lady? Her family says they will take away her car at the end of this month, when her license expires, but what do we do until then? I look forward to your comments.
Best,
Dr. Sheri