There used to be a saying “don’t worry if you’re talking to yourself, only worry if you’re answering back.” Thanks to the COVID 19 virus, I passed that a long time ago!
One month is bad enough, but two months of self-isolation are even worse. At some point in time, I caught myself having conversations with myself. Full conversations. What’s a single gal to do? Here are some suggestions to help lift the fog and dissipate those clouds of conversational uncertainty.
First, talk to Siri on your phone. I changed my Siri voice to that of a British male, finding that more delightful than a woman’s tones. Ask questions, and listen, truly listen to the answer. Okay, I know that’s a bit lame. But if you’re desperate…. These are troubling times, you know.
Call an old friend and talk for hours. I mean, what is she doing? She’s almost as stuck as you are, except that you’re the one who’s single.
Go for walk. Greet everyone pleasantly. Admire dogs, children, and cats. (Yes, I actually saw a woman walking her cat the other day. Poor gal must have been despairing of human contact. It certainly was a conversation starter. Sadly, the cat wanted nothing to do with the idea and took off, her owner in tow, but I digress.)
Go to The Home Depot and talk to the workers there. (Please keep your conversation department related, or it will be brief. That is, if you are in the paint department, don’t try to talk carpeting, or you will get handed off very quickly.) (Second note: They are restricted to a certain number of customers in the store at a time, so please be sensitive to the people waiting in line outside, trying to get in, especially if it is 35 degrees out, like it was here this morning.)
Go to the grocery store and bemoan to anyone else in the paper goods aisle the fact that there still isn’t any toilet tissue available. After all this time, what in the world could everyone be doing with it? (Side note: I have seen two different Cottonnelle TP ads recently, teasing me about their product to the point where they showed a Walmart worker loading the shelves with their product and smiling to beat the band.
I awoke early this morning and rushed to Walmart, only to find not even the worst Brand X product on their shelves. But I digress, again.) You can actually get into some very interesting conversations with folks regarding the benefits of one bathroom wipe over another. Been there, done that, but that smacks of desperation once again.
Put on a YouTube video of your favorite music and sing along, pretending you are in the band. Dance, and you will get a real workout. If a neighbor sees you, you might get hauled away by the men in the little white suits…. They will graciously bring you a white jacket to wear, as well. It will be a bit…confining…..Oops, gotta run. There’s someone at the door. Or there will be soon, if I trip that walker on her way past my house….though it would be nice to talk to someone I’ve known longer than five minutes.