Dressers are Just Hunks of Wood
Hello everyone:
How are you going to divide your personal property among your children? A woman I know lost her mother after a brief illness. The elderly woman had not told her daughters who she wanted to have her chest of drawers; it apparently had not occurred to her that all three of her girls wanted it.
One of the daughters removed the dresser from her mother’s home; the others have spent years trying to get it away from her. They refuse to speak to one another; they do not invite each other to family gatherings and they no longer talk on the phone.
The sisters are missing the rest of each other’s lives because none of them is willing to back down. It may have been important at one time, but it really is just a piece of wood, when it comes right down to it.
Would a compromise be possible, such as “you have the dresser one year and I will take it the next year”? Whoever survives the longest gets to keep the dresser. This is kind of like musical chairs, with the prize being the dresser.
Speaking of wood, I once had a decorating customer who was upset about some wooden sconces. The finish wasn’t quite right, so she thought she would call me…on Christmas Day! Folks, again, this is just wood. Yes, I took care of her but, really, calling a independent consultant on Christmas???
Again, this is just some wood. The really important things in life aren’t things. They are people. I told one of my dear friends the other day that the most important people in my life are my family: my sons, their wives, my grandsons, and my siblings and their spouses and children. Of course, my father is still a very important part of my life, as well. Without our family and friends, we might as well pack it in, as they say.
You may have lost your spouse to death, disease, or divorce, and my heart goes out to you. But what (or, more vitally, who) is still in your life? Embrace them and love them. Be grateful for those who love and care for you. Thank God every day that they are a part of your life.
You know, we are going through transitions, you and I. Things can get pretty scary and lonely but we are going to make it!
Best,
Dr. Sheri