Hello everyone:

Okay, sometimes folks are slow on the uptake. I had a male co-worker many years ago who didn’t realize his marriage was over until he came home one night and found his house was completely empty and his wife and kids were gone. He told me, “I knew we were having problems but I didn’t realize she was so serious….”

Another friend found that her normally-helpful hubby was unwilling to do ANYTHING for her. She had trouble opening a jar. He looked over at her and shrugged, “Oh, well, I guess you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.” Still another needed help with her computer. The reply? “You’re so smart. You can get it running again.” He was the computer geek; she wasn’t.

Maybe you have shared life with your spouse for _____ years or more and suddenly he or she doesn’t want anything to do with you. That’s a hint, most certainly. Avoidance becomes the name of the game, or perhaps constant confrontation has become your new lot in life. These are all dead giveaways that there is trouble in paradise.

What can you do? Well, there’s an old bromide that “it takes two to tango” and that is certainly true. A real challenge with some of the gals I’ve talked to is how their well-meaning friends sometimes tell them it’s their fault they are losing their hubby. If only they were more ________ (submissive, understanding, thoughtful, or whatever), their hubby would still be interested in them.

I wonder how many of you have found that to be true: that it’s your fault that the marriage failed. I would love to hear from you, either about your own experience or that of someone you know (no names or locations, please).

Let’s talk.

Best,

Dr. Sheri